As Hip Hop heads, we stay ranting and raving over our top five‘s, our GOAT‘s, the top dog production houses and who’s going to take home the MVP trophy, year after year. As much as we bicker and complain about what dude ain’t satisfying our needs, [||], and who should quit altogether, we forget the pivotal cats who play the background, usually holding their nigga(s) down when we refuse to. I’m not talking about the DJ, because with a computer and an annoying voice, basically any cat can front that role. No, I’m talking about Hip Hop’s forgotten heroes: the weed carrier.
There’s nothing wrong with having a down ass partner. And rightfully so, there’s nothing wrong with being said partner. We all need those people, or need to be those people in life. It creates and sustains balance. Yin and yang, so to speak. A king isn’t a king without servants and council, thusly, servants and council are formless without a figurehead to fall behind. In the Hip Hop world, the main dude, or simply “boss”, has an entourage, full of various characters; yes men, “security”, barbers, gophers, groupie getters, “the gay guy”, etc. But at the top of that hierarchy of hangers-on is the weed carrier.
One doesn’t become a weed carrier overnight. It takes years of unsolicited, fellatious behavior with no regard for one’s own dignity, esteem, and in some cases, manhood. Most often, the weed carrier’s career begins as the sidekick, the go-to man who has stayed loyal, and risen through the ranks of come-and-go faces, to be crowned the coveted spot next to the General of the operation. Benefits include: standing directly behind the star in most videos, accompanying the star out on stage during performances to cover all ad-libs and forgotten verses, spokesperson for the star when the star’s not available, laughing at all the boss’ jokes-especially in public, and lastly-carrying drugs, guns, and/or anything the star has no business carrying on his/her person. A faithful, studious weed carrier can parlay his/her skills as a professional lackey into various careers. Notice the similarities between the words “carrier” and “career”. Just saying. Plenty of today’s celebrities began as weed carriers,
A weed carrier’s position does come with some confusing times, though. One’s identity is usually sacrificed in the process if they’re not careful, cautious, and cognizant. Truly, only the strong can survive in such a menial capacity, all the while still looking forward to a grander scheme.
The goal is work smarter not harder, so he doesn’t forget that he’s still his own man, while haplessly suckling the teet that feeds him. That’s nothing short of genius. Up and coming weed carriers should exude poise and grace, because it could be the difference between actually boning the groupies, or going to get them more liquor to drink and blaze to smoke.
A legitimate weed carrier finds opportunities to praise the boss, simultaneously showing other’s why he’s the chosen one. While the fickle public observes the weed carriers role as useless, somewhat of a dead-end job for kiss asses, the weed carrier is intently focused, careful to pat his own back as much as he strokes the necessary amount of upper management ball sack. A effective weed carrier’s responsibility should always allow wiggle room for association. Such leverage exposes opportunities for self-promotion, without appearing mutinous. Tony Yayo once used such maneuvers, until he decidedly opted to glamorize 50 Cent non-stop, which was clearly the more lucrative decision. Why waste time rapping, when you can be another man’s live action billboard? In a perfect world, that’s gotta count for something.
The basic element of weed carrying, which is somewhat of a lost art in today’s “out for self” rap world, is Kool-Aid sipping. Though it has evolved somewhat since (the real) Jim Jones perfected it decades ago, the premise remains unscathed. Love your leader, follow him blindly, and hold on tight, no matter how much he strings you along. The sky’s the limit when egregious co-signing has no boundaries. If the book ‘The 48 Laws Of Power’ had an ass backwards, Bizzaro-world, dyslexic edition, it would surely be the weed carrier’s survival guide.
When it’s all said and done, the weed carrier’s job is to make his boss shine, and let people know that, while somebody has got to do the waxing, it’s all for a greater good. Nowadays, niggas are quick to jump to the head of the class. Gone are the days when a dude would politely sit back and wait, without any obvious signs of his time coming anytime soon, but still hold it down for the team. Or more specifically, the boss. He realizes that if he can’t drive the Maybach, he can at least ride shotgun until he get’s dropped off at home. And not a lot of hangers-on can say that, with misguided-yet adamant pride, and still look in the mirror as men the next morning. Everybody’s not cut from that mold.
So, let’s bow our collective heads, in respectful homage, of all the weed carriers that make our stars shine so damn brightly. God bless them dudes, really though.