Words by Phlip
Joe Smith, newly ordained #1 for the best team in the universe, is also a a rapper? So, not only does New Jersey take The Machine off of our hands (& for that I am eternally grateful), but we get a rapper out of what looks like a pretty sweet trade, as well?
No matter what the anti-Lakers grumble about, it’s a good look for the Lake Show.
Perhaps this year’s three-peat celebration will include an impromptu rap battle between The Beast & The Tru Warier. Not that I’m hoping for that, but there aren’t many times when the public allows a grown man, or grown duo of men, to embarass himself without judgment. Also, I’m pretty positive that would be fucking awesome, if only for nostalgic purposes. An icing on the cak3, so to speak. Sure, we’d tie the Celtics for the most team championships in league history, but something tells me that Joe Smith & Ron Artest rapping & yelling & spitting on a cheap-ass microphone from a 9-foot-tall purple & gold float would pack more of a memorable wallop in the long run.
Nonetheless, I welcome Joe Smith a/k/a purple & gold jersey #1 d/b/a Joe Beast, to the Los Angeles Lakers.
& now, it’s official.
Listen to Joe Smith‘s first interview as an “official” Laker via the New Jersey Nets locker room here
Download/stream Joe Smith a/k/a Joe Beast’s music here
Let’s go Lakers, Let’s Go!!!
#purple #and #gold #all #day
Between the biggest name in rap being labeled “liar,” rather than an entertainer, & the new, improved video game-esque NBA landscape, where all that’s left is to bring back the the thighsqueezers & make halfcourt shots worth 4 points, I’d all but given up hope for any heartfelt, raw honesty in my favorite 2 spectator sports: rap & basketball. But then, I came across these 2 dudes in one day. No homo.
Los Angeles Lakers’ Ron Artest, in a self-conducted (yes, self-conducted) interview, via ESPN.com, & up & coming GI rap cat Freddie Gibbs, via @FreddieGibbs & Complex.com, both kept it real this week, in the specific definition of the word. I suggest you read the entire piece(s), but for y’all ADHD-addled folk, I have some of the more sage quotes on hand, for your reading pleasure.
“Much love to all the real DJs in the game. To all the ones that be tryin to rap and be diddy eat a dick.”
-Gibbs to all following his Twitter account
“It’s like, real MCs…can’t get breathing room ’cause you got fuck shit like that. I think that shit is garbage. I don’t like what that shit stand for.”
-Gibbs on DJ Khaled’s effect on Hip Hop
“At 15 I started to get twisted, and at 16 I was getting lit up on a regular basis. By the time the Bulls drafted me, I’d drink in the house all day, then go play a game.”
-Artest on his problems
“I guess he’s entertaining people. It’s like a movie, like ‘Scarface.’ He can have that fake lane. I’ll stay in the real lane. We got a non-fiction lane of rap, that’s how I’m looking at it now.”
-Gibbs on Rick Ross The Rapper
“All of a sudden, I was addicted to counseling…I started shopping for a mental health doctor. That’s when I found Dr. Santhi Periasamy. She’s the doctor I kept thanking after the Finals.”
-Artest on self-betterment
“He saw more of these fuckboys coming into the game. These ‘Charles Hamilton-type’ niggas making that ‘bubblegum-bullshit’ rap. He saw that and wanted to latch onto that, instead of latching on to what was real. He saw a dollar-sign opportunity. I ain’t no racist motherfucker, but it was the Jew in him.”
-Gibbs on (ex)A&R Joe “3H” Weinberger
“Don’t sleep on Boston, but I like Miami in the East. It would be an honor to face the Heat. I’ll take LeBron. Kobe’s on Wade. Gasol’s got Bosh. It’ll come down to Andrew Bynum. If he’s healthy, we can’t be stopped.”
-Artest on next season’s NBA finals
“I’m not trying to fabricate nothing or dress nothing up to be something that it’s not. I ain’t a nigga with no furs, but I’ve sold a lot of crack. A lot of pills. But I wasn’t THAT nigga like that.”
-Gibbs on artistry versus authenticity
“Was I crazy, or was I not sober enough to have a clear mind? That’s the question.”
-Artest on Artest
“I’m on probation for five years–three years now–for felony gun possession in California. So basically I got two gun charges. I got one in Indiana and one out here in California so I gotta keep my nose clean.”
-Gibbs on Gibbs
“‘It’s not what I can do. It’s what I’m gonna do.’ That’s mine. I made it up..”
-Artest on his personal motivational quote
…& the winner is?
As a bonus, I’ve compiled a short list of the not so obvious, overlooked similarities between rap & basketball, (just because I’ve always wanted to):
*Overseas market may pay better, but there’s no place like home
*White girls are the best fans
*No education required
*The importance of Youtube clips
*Atrocious body art
*Criminal behavior is always a crowd pleaser
*No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be the ‘Michael Jordan’ of it
Within the next 5 years, we’ll have our first successful rapping athlete. I’m pretty sure it won’t be Ron Artest (notice no allusion to ‘Tru Warier’-no shots, though), but nevertheless, mark my words. &, on a slightly related note, I’m glad Black Mamba is forgiving, & Candyman [ll] has Khloe to argue with now, because per the Allen Iverson Act of 1996, We‘ve filled our 1 thug-per-team minimum. Finally, a neck tattoo on the squad (I’ve wanted to say that my whole life).
I didn’t go to the 2010 NBA Champions celebration parade. Not so much that I didn’t want to, but moreso that I learned long ago, the seat in my house is the best seat in the house, so to speak. I’m just not one to be surrounded by thousands of people, dishing out tons of monies, & possibly waiting for the shitter. I have traces of a childhood claustrophobia that could easily be agitated by people all around me, closing me in. Or maybe I just think strangers stink, but either way, I need personal space if I don’t know you like that. Fuck all that, though. I’d rather just stay at the house. I’d prefer to eat my “free” food, & hot dogs ain’t that hard to prepare, regardless. Plus, on the off-chance that everybody at home has to piss in unison, instead of a line, I can just step off & pee on the side of the house. Even during the day, if necessary. That’s how winners keep winning.
So, from the comfort of the tilt, we watched the Lakers celebrate their back-to-back victory. I suppose if I took my son to the parade, it would’ve been on of those days to remember, but that dude complains. Like, little kid complaints, fastidious in nature, & relentless in assault. So, no dice, lest I carry him home because he feels like his feet might fall off.
Anyway, I’ve noticed, people don’t even really hate the Lakers per se, but rather Black Mamba himself. All anti-Lakers talk centers around Kobe, no matter the topic. Actual fans of the sport, as well as the team, know there are many contributing factors to the success/failure of the team. Not just Kobe Bryant. Speaking of which, “Kobe vs Lebron vs Jordan” has resurfaced, becoming the annoyingly overrated debate it always was, although now I see it a little differently. I understand that, for the most part, Kobe will never be perceived as he’s valued. In laymen’s, appreciated. He may eventually win the stats game, God willing, but he’ll never finish first in a popularity contest. Unless the interviewees are teenage White girls. & maybe some boys, too. No homo. Fans will always down him. Haters will always criticize him. Nothing will ever change that. & I think he came to that conclusion himself, like 2 years ago.
On one of the floats, during the celebration, cats started tossing around the idea of a “3-peat,” to which Ron Artest said, “I haven’t written the song yet.” He wrote a song called ‘Champion’ in June ’09, & even made mention of the fourth quarter, so he felt that he forecasted the win when he wrote it. Hence, he’s telling reporters he hasn’t written “the song” yet. Amazing, for numerous reasons. Dude is easily the oddest player in the league, & somehow, I feel like he out-Rodman’d Dennis Rodman. Not so much in skill set, but in taking his level of spectacle beyond just basketball. Tell me Ron Artest isn’t about to be all over the place for the next year or so. I already told y’all, prepare for that Tru Warier Records. Really though. & don’t let him link with a big name sponsor right now. He’ll be doing fish-eye lens commercials of him biting the heads off of basketball playing chickens. Or something like that, to sell you some wack Adidas. Just saying.
I know a lot of dudes hate the Lakers, & if my team didn’t win a lot, I’d feel a kind of way, too. So I understand, & wish you fellows the best of luck next year…
Now that the games are over, the Games begin. This free agency is coming up quick, & we all know it’s a lot of behind-the-scenes magic happening right now, even though it’s not allowed. Next season is definitely shaping up to be the best one in quite some time.
I don’t know if y’all heard about these 2 joints, but before we forget all about the Great, Lake Show in a couple days, check these out:
Click To Listen
DJ Felli Fell featuring Cube, Snoop, Ray J, Chino XL, New Boyz
‘Lakers Anthem 2010 (G-Mix)’
Click To Listen
For the record, I can’t cosign Ray J, or anything he does. He just so happens to be on the song. Shouts out to HipHopDX.com for the links.