‘Kim, Nicki, US, & The Koreans’

I’m not one to get all political without a good joke being involved, but this new direction of Korean conflict seems like some well-intended world un-diplomacy nonsense gone horribly out of control. As a result, America’s now positioning itself to rub elbows with China, in order to help North & South Korea sift through their differences & come to an amicable solution. Even though people have started dying already. These are differences that should’ve at least been third party-governed by now, which may serve as the subplot to the actual war; no longer are “lesser” nations “afraid” of America. But, that’s neither here no there. Not yet, at least.

North Korea is lobbing artillery shells at it’s timid little brother. Fact. I’d equate it to 2 brothers who share a room & decide that one of them has to go, by any means necessary. But the door is locked, & not that many passers-by care what’s going on in the room, if you smell my cologne. The point is that these 2 countries are too close to hate each other, & for the most part, any battles that occur will do little more than destroy all things collateral. For example, imagine those brothers’ room after the aforementioned ousting takes place.

America must now play the part of the (global) P.E. coach that escorts the quarrelling parties to the gym for a mediated exchange of fisticuffs. It’s good to know we still have some authority, but we honestly have more important situations to clean up. Really though, aside from the whole “War On Terror” campaign, America doesn’t have the resources to fight wars that don’t belong to us. At least not until houses stop getting stolen & people can live “normal” lives again.

After WikiLeak.com’s latest digital homeland attack happened in real-time for the world to see, it’s leaders aren’t going to be so quick to let us hang out with them, so to speak. Especially now that our own domestic terrorism situation is becoming more tangible by the literal season.

& not for nothing, but if China wasn’t so heavily attached to North Korea, I doubt we’d even be in South Korea playing games & shit.

That said…

Do these broads have beef, or do we–the audience–want them to have beef & they’re dumb enough to fall into it? I think that’s a legitimate question. Either way, the ego’s are revving & the bra’s are off, for the most (important) part.

Believe me when I tell you that #NickiVsKim is all Twitter’s been harping on since #PinkFriday. Me being the cynical bystander God intended for me to be, I’ve gathered enough intelligence to surmise who the winner will be, when the smoke clears…

The winner is Hip Hop.

Battles are what fuel the competitive nature of the sport. If rap didn’t have that “winner take all!” ethos attached to it, it would be jazz. [Sidenote: Yes, I said it again. Rap is *this* far from being jazz. Unless WE do something about it.] What happens, though, is that in the wrong hands, that competition becomes confusion & conflict, & subsequently someone yelling out, “Niggas cain’t have shit!” from the back row. What Nicki Minaj & Lil Kim have done, aside from having thousands of teenage boys marathon-yanking over their keyboards, is revitalize a healthy sense of “I’m better than you.” Of course, I’ll eat my words of they run into each other at a spa or whatever & duke it out like the hoodrats we know they really are, but I doubt that’ll happen. Silicone tits & Indonesian lace fronts aren’t cheap accessories.

People are going to pick a “winner” based on whatever bullshit logic they base their opinions on. But I haven’t heard this many people, across my spectrum of associates, so outspoken about something Hip Hop-related since MBDTF, which wasn’t long ago at all, but my point remains. There’s entirely too much music to get excited for no valid reason. So when everybody & their ghosttweeter are saying the same thing, it must mean something. Just saying.

[Sidenote: In closing, I vote for Nicki & Kim to baby-oil up & wrestle to the death in a tub of ice water. Read that again, if necessary. In fact, I insist.]

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Battle Of The Boobs: Lil Kim Wins [NSFW!!]

This has nothing to do with lyrical dexterity, or lackthereof. Until Nicki Minaj has these kinds of pics, floating around the ‘Net for the rest of time indefinite, or until somebody hijacks the ‘Net for world domination-y purposes, she can’t call herself the Queen of Hip Hop. She needs to step her “inappropriate behavior” up.

Nicki ain’t ready, yet.







Battle Of The Boobs: Shots Fired!

Lil Kim is going in. Not like the last time she “went in.” I mean, like I predicted, in her attack on Nicki Minaj. I’m not even sure when it started, but so far she’s pulled in Ray J, & now she’s even providing a platform for unknown rappers to attack from. Oh, & she gives Puffy the business, for obvious reasons. What started off as a bitter, spinster rapper lunging for forgotten fame is becoming an entertaining little cat fight. Pun intended. Now, all we need is some wardrobe malfunctions, really though. I’d sit through quite a bit of mediocre she-rapping for the possibility of that opportunity.

In fact, as much as Kim may or may not have to gain from dissing the most popular female “rapper,” it would behoove her to befriend the up & comer. Especially since there’s obviously no other lane for female MC’s besides “prostitute rap (© Tony Grands).” I can understand the necessary dominance for such a specialized field. It’s not like just anybody can rhyme about anal sex. Or would do so willingly, if they had another choice.

Apparently, this is what female rap has become. A lane so small that not more than one can co-exist, so to speak. Not that the one’s with skills don’t exist, they’re just not what’s on the agenda. It’s no different than their male counterparts, if you ask me. Once Minaj openly declared herself the queen of rap, the Queen Bee of Rap had to step forward. & rightfully so, so shows up to a cat fight looking like cat-woman. I’m curious to know exactly how this “beef” even works. God forbid they BOTH feel a need to release an endless stream of back & forth diss records, like Saigon & Joe Budden. Between the 2 of them, I’m sure they’d run out of words by the second day. We might be subjected to 2 & 1/2 minutes of Nicki Minaj talking about how good her ‘tang is, or something. Wait, never mind. Heaven help WSHH viewers. They don’t even have kids, for Kobe’s sake. That severely handicaps the amount of exposure we can look forward to. We already know Nicki is a (pretend) bisexual & Lil Kim didn’t win ‘Dancing With The Stars.’ I’m think I’m calling “Bullshit!” already.

Nicki is still quiet though, so until she responds, Kim is just bumping botox. Didn’t Kim say “Fuck bitches, get money!” quite adamantly, some years back? This would seem counterproductive then, no?

On a slightly related note, they could settle any differences with oily, naked wrestling. As many times as they did it, people would pay to watch it. & if you take into consideration the boom in Hip Hop lesbianism, that could literally be millions of monies. Just saying.