Words by Malcolm Maximillion
I’m a people person, for the most part. It all depends on the 5 W’s (& 1 H) of course, but nonetheless. I enjoy watching them, though, more so than their physical presence (current company notwithstanding). & there’s no particular reason for that, either. I’d say it’s along the same line of logic of how I’ll [text/tweet/email/bbmsg/update] with you all day, but literally, if you decide to call to ask me something–right at that same moment–to avoid finger strain, I won’t answer my phone. To which, you’d most certainly text me to ask me about, & we’d be back to square 1. I win. Anyway, people are amazing creatures. From a distance.
I’m always looking for something to look at, if you smell my cologne. Rightfully so, I’m interested in the inevitable point of convergence between legalizing gay marriage & the reoccuring trend of homicide by hate crime among young homosexual males. Surely the tragic news stories on TV will eventually make an issue out of it, because the collective media outlet’s respective jobs are to manufacture & facilitate anxiety & fear (that’s the only way to get people to buy into bullshit). A few suicide-murders in betwixt a handful of gay marriage protests is enough ammo for the Media to rattle an entire community for months, & only a fool would think that 5 deaths in less than a month is anything less than über unsettling to some 17 year old boy who just wants to be honest about who he
thinks he is.
Now, I’d never attempt to ever equate anything on Earth to the awesome horror of Black on Black violence, however there’s definitely a general, underlying theme between the aforementioned 2 parties, of unfounded, self-inflicted genocide. For illustrative purposes, it’s tantamount to how a main line of defense is to essentially murder itself, in the process of trying to stay alive. & again, in no way is this a comparison between the plight or struggle of young, closeted homosexual males & the Black community per se, but rather a question of if either group really wants to be taken seriously in the world in general. Because killing yourselves, & each othe,r is never a good way to prove a point. Unless it’s the point of those who want to see you nonexistent in the first place.
If I’ve learned 1 thing, being born when I was, it’s that resilience defines your movement. Whatever the endeavor. If you can keep pushing, overcoming the supposed obstacles & set-backs & pitfalls that wait, then at some point, people will take you seriously. Even if what you stand for makes no sense whatsoever. Also, in no way is this advocation, or even acceptance of alternative lifestyles, but that has nothing to do with right & wrong. There’s a right way & a wrong way to prove a point is all I’m saying.
I came across a female yesterday, talking especially loud on her cell phone about some type of relationship problems she was having with her (actual) girlfriend. Normally, I tune out the ambient noises of urban living (except for gunshots & sirens), but the shrill, high-pitched pierce of her voice sparked my curiosity. Not only did I intend to step up my eavesdropping, but now I turned to look.
I saw a young Black girl, dressed like a young Black boy, using all types of unlady-like language to describe the love/hate conflict between her & another young lady. I’m positive I even heard her murmur “with a strap-on” at least twice. If this was porn I was watching, right about now would be the time I start really “paying attention,” but this wasn’t a couple of impossibly sexy lesbians about to have a tantalizing pillow fight. This was real life. & this was a Black girl lost.
Lost, as in misguided & without direction, which may or may not be directly affected by her obvious affinity for other females. I could even go so far as to call it coincidence, & it still wouldn’t change my assessment of the situation. More & more, I see these young girls who have been swept into some strange, backwards world, where the true essence of being a woman is completely discarded like a used sanitary napkin. I kind of understand how Black women felt a couple of decades ago, when they’d look at each other at beauty salons & nail shops & rhetorically ask one another where’d the Black men go. Perhaps that unanswerable question is one of the causes for what I’m writing about now. Go figure.
What I see is a generation of girls who grew up with absentee fathers, drug-addled uncles & lackadaisical step dads, & to counterattack the substantial, subconscious pain that was caused, they, themselves, become the “men” they never had. I understand “gay is here to stay,” & what have you, but I’m talking about these young girls who would rather be dudes, not the free-spirited souls who refused to be caged in by only one sexual preference. They would “rather be dudes” so much so that they challenge “other” men, like an animal protecting it’s territory, at every opportunity. God forbid I see, what I perceive to be, a pretty girl with her homegirl out in public. I’m sorry, married or not, I notice nice looking people. If I wasn’t supposed to, my eyes would be in my wife’s purse instead of my testicles, if you smell my cologne. Anyway, what would have genuinely been her homegirl, 20 years ago, is now her lover, & these lover’s go out of their way to mimic men so tediously that I find myself rubbing my beard out of spite. For the record, I’m a proponent of Equal Rights. Stare at me long enough, & sexual orientation has nothing to do with an ass whipping. & not for nothing, but butch lesbians, in most cases, are tougher than actual men. That’s that “something to prove” attitude that gets people murdered in broad daylight. I remember when I was 9, there was a girl in our neighborhood who could pee standing up, like a dude. We all watched her do it. If she ever registered & trademarked that move, she’d be a billionaire, just from L.A. sales alone.
Back to the broad on the cell phone. Turns out that the chick she was talking to has a daughter that goes to my son’s school. It took me a minute to place her face, but I’d seen her at the school numerous times. The last time I saw her, she had her hair in 2 pony tails, wearing basketball shorts down to her high-top Nikes, which complimented the over-sized white t-shirt she wore. Somebody should tell these chicks that sports bra’s can’t hide what the good Lord blessed you with. Not even in a 4XL Pro Club. So, not only is this chick really confused about her sexuality (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but her girlfriend, who doesn’t appear any more stable than she does, allows her daughter to be exposed to them kissing & cuddling in public. I’ve seen it. But, like I said, maybe I’m not as open minded as I think I am. If little Black girls start growing up with 2 gay moms & an obscure perception of the Black man’s role in the family & community, there’s no telling what type of societal turbulence we could be flying into. Let us remember that the Black man is still having an identity crisis of his own, on several different fronts.
I don’t have a problem with homosexuality. However, I do have a few problems with woman who like other woman, can’t stand men, & yet do everything in the power to emulate manhood. The flip side of that coin is, if a woman decides she’s gay, then settles for a relationship with another female who all but has a real penis, isn’t that a hypocritical waste of time? I don’t know much about lady-thinking, but it seems man-filled condom>>>jelly-filled sex toy any day of the week. I don’t get it. But, it’s probably not meant to be figured out in the first place, huh?
On a related note, us men need to own some responsibility as to how these girls/women get treated in the real world. Daughters, moms, children’s mothers, etc. Just saying.
If you’re reading this, that means I’m guaranteed you have at least minimal knowledge on the group Gangstarr. Even if it’s just because we discussed the impact of Guru’s death on these threads a few times. R.I.P. Keith Elam.
Since he died, all types of information has become available to those who are curious, the last tid bit being that the infamous Solar was abusive in their seemingly peculiar relationship. I say peculiar, because by most opinions, their friendship was on the business end of bizarre. Some people have gone as far as to ask what many of us were thinking. “Was Guru gay?” It’s a reasonable inquiry, given the shade thrown on the men’s association since Guru died. Before his death though, not many people were to interested in what Guru had going on. Self included. Perhaps if we had’ve been paying closer attention then, we wouldn’t be so confused now. Now, everybody’s mad at Solar, & Solar is steadily becoming famous, in a Kat Stacks kind of way. That’s probably all he ever wanted. If he’s really the type of guy he’s being portrayed as, he’s loving every minute of his 15. I wouldn’t doubt that he goes to the ‘Nets’ favorite new site, FuckSolar.Com, just to bask in the anti-glory of his hatred. But I digress. All bullshit aside, where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire, but I don’t judge, I just speculate for the next man to.
Before I started typing, I had to ask myself first, “What if Guru was gay?” Does that have anything at all to do with his music & legacy? Does that governor the amount of influence he had on the Hip Hop culture? Is rap music ready for an MC to admit that he lusts for intimate bromance?
If Guru was gay, it has no bearing on his creative output. In no way would that change or obscure his place in the culture. Maybe to the small minded, or easily offended, but not to the average fan who grow up on his (& DJ Premier’s) music. Especially since he’s never referenced it in a song. I think the same would apply to an outwardly gay rapper today. A person’s perception is easily swayed by packaging. As long as the rapper doesn’t make self-righteous, awkward songs about forbidden love, I don’t see where his personal life would interrupt the showcasing of his ability. The time is approaching for that one, brave rapper to come out & admit he’s gay. & chances are, we’ll be alive to see. Though the initial backlash will most likely crash Twitter (yay!), I doubt it would be as painful a revelation as most people think. As a society, we’ve accepted gay people in the community. Because if we hadn’t, believe that hate crimes would be much more prevailant than they are. So obviously, it’s not that big of a deal to most people, even the ones that hurl epithets to fit in with the crowd. You know, the ones who do shit ‘just to get a rep,’ so to speak.
Personally, I couldn’t care less. I’ve befriended quite a few gay dudes in my life, & I can honestly say that A) not one has attempted to rape me, & B) they don’t sit around & talk about their sexual conquests. Just to be on the safe side though, I don’t eat popsicles or corn on the cob around them. Miscommunication can happen in the blink of an eye.
It’s to the point to where only a fool would shake his pretentious, proverbial fist at the gay lifestyle. & I say that as a man who, wholeheartedly, doesn’t not advocate it. I don’t condone nor attempt to quantify reasoning for same sex relationships. But, what the hell does it really have to do with me? Until the hand of God Sodom & Gomorrah‘s us, it’s not my concern or responsibility where a man does or does not place his “Exit Only” sign. From a statistical stand point though, there’s a gay rapper out there. I doubt he’s in a hurry to wave his hands in the air, though. With the omnipotent ‘Net shadowing the lives of the famous & the nameless alike, I wouldn’t be so quick to admit something of that magnitude myself. Some things are better kept in the darkness for as long as possible, & I totally understand that. I’m old enough to know that there’s only 2 types of people in life: allies & enemies. There’s no room for skin color & sexual preference in either category.
I don’t think Guru was gay, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to being abnormally curious as to the inner workings of his ties to Solar, even a couple of weeks after his passing. Either way you slice it, Guru’s one of the true pioneers who rightfully earned the title ‘Legend.’ & he did it before he died, unlike a lot of the “great ones” who expired prematurely. God bless his family.
Solar “defends” his reputation against ConspiracyWorldwide. #fail.