Too $hort, Hip Hop’s most beloved pimp, pre-Snoop Dogg, was arrested in Boise, Idaho (of all places) last night/this morning for assault at a night club. His Dangerous crew (figuratively & literally) & ‘The Knitting Factory’s security posse had a skirmish over if Too $hort would be allowed to bring (really) young tenders backstage after the performance. Don’t ask me how, but that simple situation, that could’ve been resolved within a matter of sentences, somehow turned into a fight. Too $hort is looking at up to 6 months in prison now, for misdemeanor battery, so it’s a good thing that getting arrested is so beneficial to a career in rap music. He may have gray hair now, but pimping knows no age limit.
The girls $hort had in tow were underage, which in itself isn’t that big of a deal. They could’ve easily been 19 or 20, & legally not allowed in that particular part of the establishment. But why was he so stuck on getting these girls back there? I can only assume that those broads must have had the type of ‘tang that would sell very nicely in a place like Idaho, & I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard of anybody extraordinarily famous or sexy coming from there. Much less what was probably some brickhouse Black girls, the type that $hort always has around him. To me, he sounded like a man on a mission. The mission? To pimp those hoes ’til the heels fall off. Pun intended.
Too $hort’s been telling us about his pimpalicious lifestyle from day one. &, unlike rapping about shooting, & getting shot at, he doesn’t have to get arrested for it to prove to me that he’s doing it. Sure, he makes money from rap, but how many people do you know that have purchased a $hort Dog album, physical or digital, in the last 10 years? Exactly. Here I am, thinking Too $hort is nothing more than a fixture in the house that west coast rap built, & dude could be out there running a countrywide prostitution ring, under the guise of “rap shows.” Really though, why the hell else is he performing in Idaho? How convenient to do shows in hole-in-the-wall spots, that only those in the “know” would be privy to. That’s a beautiful scheme, until you wind up at the wrong place, at the wrong time, talking to the wrong people. In a state that doesn’t take too kindly to loud coloreds with shiny jewelry & loose women.
I remember when TMZ reported that $hort got arrested for drunk driving in Vegas. I guess he wasn’t popular enough for them to follow up. Poor guy.