Admittedly, I’m not an expert on much of anything. In fact, that in itself makes me the best kind of expert, so to speak; I know the necessary amount of a whole lot of nothing-in-particular. That “talent” comes in handy when watching game shows with my easily amazed friends, or just talking with my son. However, if I had to narrow my expertise down to something, aside from surviving fatal amounts of alcohol it would probably be marriage. Yep.
This November 27th, I’ll have been successfully (& coincidentally, happily) wed for 8 years. “Successfully,” meaning it was an intended agenda that worked out pretty good in the long-term. During that 8 years, we’ve been through all the things that usually split people up. Now that I think about it, it’s not even so much that I’m an expert per se, but more that I’m obviously equipped to handle certain relationship matters better than those who couldn’t or didn’t weather the storm. Couple that with the proven scientific fact that misery loves company, & all I need is an excuse to begin convincing motherfuckers to start families like I was recruiting human shields for Uncle Sam’s army.
Really though, the world is a suck ass place, full of nonsensical booby traps & backwards hustling more often than not. The most powerful ally in such proverbial doldrums (aside from your God) is a spouse. If you pick(ed) the wrong one, that’s most definitely your bad, but for the most part, I stand by my point. Hell, if I can offer little rays of sunshine to someone’s life, unintentional or otherwise, so be it.
At the days end, if you want to be with someone, whatever effort needed to do so should be done willingly & “just because.”. That doesn’t mean “A-Ha!” moments can’t be inspired by others, though. I can’t plant the seed for you, but as I mentioned earlier, I got them little rays of sunshine on deck to help out with the growing process. Situations permitting & what not.
REALIZATION #5
Remember The Past, Dictate The Future
A friend of mine made a great point about his child’s mother. He said “the bitch knew what the fuck she was gettin’ into when she-,” you get my point. Despite his lack of syntax, he was right. It seems that people forget who/what/why they were initially drawn to the other person. As long as that aspect of the relationship is kept in perspective, the foundation won’t ever be called into question. Assuming the foundation was laid properly, that is. Because if it’s not, God bless you when it all falls down, because it will. Anything built on flimsy ground will eventually fall. & don’t shoot me, I’m just gravity’s messege carrier for the moment.
REALIZATION #4
Don’t Waste Energy On The Unattainable
Humans, much like monkeys, seem to have an unusually incessant need to be around each other, whether we’re beefing with one another or not. (Those damn animals will fight over a branch & then both sit there together, unless the dominant one kills the lesser first, or something more exciting happens on the next branch.) That said, count the amount of friends you have in miserable relationships, yet they refuse to break wide. That’s a waste of time, like shooting rubberbands at the moon. Hopeful wishes do nothing more than glamorize the unattainable. [Sidenote: Feel free to espouse that little tidbit at your leisure.] However, focused energy can move a mountain. It may take time, & lots of it, but it can be done. Same rules apply here. Pick a goal & achieve it. Anything else is but a distraction. Even if said distraction jiggles or has hard nipples, it’s a distraction nonetheless.
REALIZATION #3
Bikini Biscuits Don’t Change, Ice Boxes Do
They way a woman feels about you has absolutely nothing to do with the way she feels to you. Meaning, in all honesty, ‘tang doesn’t change much from person to person. Aside from some being more skillful & apparently trained in the ways of the Kegal, it’s all pretty much cooch. (No disrespect to any arbitrary cooch in immediate proximity.) Now what the cooch is attached to is what’s important. That determines the chain of events, long after the cooch has closed up shop, for whatever reasons. &, for illustrative purposes, when I was in the hospital, unable to take care of myself *ahem* properly, ‘tang wasn’t the one prepared to wipe up the Choco Emporium if the situation arose. It was my wife. ‘Tang just so happens to be another bonus to the awesome chick it’s attached to. If you smell my cologne, of course.
REALIZATION #2
Fixer-Upper>>Shallow Foundation
I truly believe a lot of dudes (& broads also) sabotage their relationships by “inventing” & maintaining fantasies that autonomously create a secondary reality. Kind of like a dumb ass dog chasing his tail not because it’s his tail, but because in that one-dimensional brain of his, one day, he’ll be clever enough to catch it. I’ve seen dogs stop eating a perfectly good bowl of chicken & turkey guts, soaking in faux-chicken broth to chase a fucking ball, if that means anything. Concentrate on what you have & build from there. It’s why Lego® is so popular with the babies of the world & dominos are not.
REALIZATION #1
Life Is Shorter Than You Think
My best guess says that most people don’t appreciate time until there’s not enough of it left. Don’t be one of those people. Take that into consideration for the rest of your life, & be happy. & not for nothing, but you’re probably the only thing stopping you from being happy in whatever you do. There’s only so many granules in the “imaginary” hour glass. You better stop playing & step lively, mayne, whatever pace suits you.
I don’t think I know everything, but I’ve been married long enough to carry my soap box & not be afraid to use it. Especially to talk some love shit, because I’m a firm believer in it.
*steps down, picks up box, walks away*
