Words by Jayy Ghost

Throughout my life I have encountered a versatile amount of women from all walks of life but none bring the ratchetness level to 100% like the infamous hoodrat!

We’ve all heard the tales of poking holes in condoms and baby daddy drama but they do have their purposes just like everything else in life. Just like Hip Hop consists of different elements pertaining to different crowds for different situations. This is nothing new. With ever-growing shows such as the “Love And Hip Hop” series and pop icons like Rihanna, hoodrats have been at a all time high with popularity better or for worse. Now, I want to endorse the fact that I don’t want to wife a ratchet woman, however, they fit particular needs perfectly for certain situations.

And what are those reasons you say..?

5.) Your Such A Cheap Skate!
Of all the numerous types of women, hoodrats are used to ballin’ on a budget. Every dude they’ve ever slept around with, for the most part, is a broke struggle rapper! T.G.I.Fridays would be like Chez Whitey to them so scraping up them pennies to grab a quick bite should be no problem. Now they do spend a lot of money on their hair, fashion, etc. but hey, leave that bill to the suckas out there willing to chase and wife someone that probably can’t even spell “success” right. They are also easily drawn to the flashing lights like a moth to the flame, so in reality you don’t even have to have any money, just the illusion of it.

4.) Hold Me Down Girl!
Now, I’m not saying good, wholesome women can’t hold their men down but they also won’t put up with as much drama (which is understandable) as a ‘rat. Hoodrats are the definition of hella drama! Right next to the word in the dictionary is a humongous picture with quotes of Joseline from Love And Hip Hop saying, “Hab yuh eba realli lubbed me Steebie?” Ha!

All jokes aside, Joseline may be a ratchet strip hoe but she does stick by her man through thick and thin. They live it, breathe it and don’t give a damn about what anyone has to say about their lifestyle. When a man gets bopped, who’s going to pay his bail? Your man and 100 grand? A classy, college educated woman? Sure, its possible just like a lot of things in life but more than likely its the goonette that will hold them down. They truly “ride or die” for their men. If their really rockin’ with you and support you as a friend she will cough up the bread. On the other hand, they usually hold down goons, not gentlemen.

3.) Oh, Hoodrats Just Wanna Have Fun!
All ratchets know and wanna do is bang out, fully turned all the way up! They do truly know how to get it in. They are the first to wanna hit that blunt and the first to shake that ass! I honestly don’t think they know how to do anything else, nor want to at all. & that’s okay in my book

One of the biggest reasons men gravitate to these types of women is the excitement, which is no different than a woman diggin’ a “bad boy.” Going back to my 5th reason they are also a cheap thrill so fun doesn’t necessarily mean Six Flags or an album release party. It could be as simple as a six pack of Coronas or smokin’ a L of some kush! Usually, at the climax (pun intended) the panties come off and its time to get weird, which brings me to my next point..

2.) Cake! Cake! Cake!
A close second which is almost the top reason they can be great assets, the sex is damn good. They will do the nastiest things your girl is embarrassed to even think about! Like a straight up porno flick, these broads make it harder for a respectable woman to be noticed because lets face it, guys in general think with their plumbing and boy do we like are pipes drained! No draino, ha! Also, hoodrats seem to be vastly more sexual in nature compared to the tamed girlfriend. I don’t value sex over love, but speaking for most men, sex is a major factor when it comes to choosing a mate. Another factor is for some reason the ghettoest girls seem to have the biggest asses. Its perplexing to the mind of how this has occurred frequently in the hood. Is it genetics? Is it the tap water? Maybe, but really in the end does it really matter? If she’s feeling the kid and i’m feeling her then later were going to be feeling each other! Facts! One things for sure more intelligent females make better lovers than fighters, which brings me to my number one reason every man needs a ratchet women on deck.

1.) Its About To Go Down!
Ding! Ding! The number one reason You should have a ratchet woman in your click is that hoodrats know how to throw down! In the hood and even elsewhere women can do some real outlandish things to a person like set somebody up or cause some other type of drama. So do you step to her to snuff her? No, never that! If you had to handle some business that you don’t want to do yourself because of you don’t want to hit a woman, call your neighborhood bird! And no i’m not talking about that big yellow one! Hoodrats are looking for a good scrap, they get into it every other day! They will definitely ride for the cause just off the strength alone. So when your in a tight jam with a angry bird who you gonna call? All I know for a fact is that its for damn sure not Ghostbusters!

Words by Jayy Ghost
@ObeyJayyGhost